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Assalamualaikumwarah matullahiwabarakatuh :)


I decided to blogwalk(jalan jalan dalam blog LOL!) and I found my friend's blog. So I read her blog and what surprised me is she liked someone we used to know in school, And yes, Mak Jem sekolah tak tahu and yeah maybe I have to sharpen my skill (Ni lagi LOL tak sedar diri kerja nak stalk je amboi). So funny it happened like 4 years ago and yes aku baru tahu hari ni. Then I just remember, we are now 20 yo is it?


Time flies so fast. We are already grown up. We used to talk about RM( Runningman), Kpop Idols(We still, tak sedar tua), seniors, juniors, teachers, pressures. Rindunya, masa time prep, duduk dalam kelas, berharap jumpa crush(mehgerdz dasar! Haha!), tunggu dalam surau, dengar ceramah Ust Iskandar, jumpa senior yang dah habis sekolah, jadi urusetia, kawad dan macam macam lagi! I admit, school had really created good memories for us :')


Tapi bila ingat balik, we never run from being stressed.

1. Exam masa sekolah, tunggu result=Stress.
2.PMR=Stress
3.Tunggu result PMR=Stress
4.Gagal addmath, bio, kimia, fizik=Stress
5. Jadi exco=Stress
6. Nak SPM=Stress
7.Trial SPM=Stress
8.Tunggu result SPM keluar=Stress
9. Tunggu UPU=Stress
10. Tak dapat UPU=Stress
11. Masuk matriks=Stress
12. Tunggu result segala gala pasal matriks=Stress
13. Tunggu result UPU for degree=Stress
14. Gagal subjek=Stress

MAYBE I GUESS! Lol!

I learned a lot through out the years. Unfortunately I just realized it just now, there were so many things but I never learned from it. Apa maksud STRESS? Well, STRESS means a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

Now I know, there are so many things Allah tested me but I never realized it could help me to change my life. Maybe it could teach me to be stronger than I was before. But, I never realized it. So, I just did some flashbacks, and I sighed. MashaaAllah how can I just not realize anything that Allah is giving some hints.

I prayed a lot to Allah, help me to become stronger than I was before, teach me how to handle obstacles and calamities without I feel sad or devastate. And he was giving so many tests and yet I failed all the tests!

How do you know, you failed the test?

Because I blamed everyone for my wrong. I said, tulah inilah and never tried to change(I tried to change a bit and hm no change, have to work hard sammo!) And yet, I still pray to him, Ya Allah, please help me to handle all tests you give me. 

And the key is, SABARIAHHHHHHHH!!

Frankly, I dont have this in myself. I can be patient towards others but not among the siblings or family members (Eh jah, kau memberontak ke?)

Hell no! Haha! Sometimes, I just dont know how to accept teguran with open heart. Sometimes my mom does the slowtalk and sometimes I cannot accept. Bukan sebab ego, it's just I told you, it's very hard for me. Because I thought, my family members knew me well than all strangers out there.

And now I realize, my mom and bapak have grown a stubborn kid with a warm heart. Although, I am very stubborn, but only my mom knows how fragile I am. So funny when people tell you, 'Kau kuat' 'How can you handle all haters?' but deep inside your heart, you know you are not what they think you are. And only your precious family members know. Very well. Very very well. Telefon sikit, nangis, cakap sikit nangis. Gembeng haha!

Can I stay on the bed all day? *Me when there are bunches of assignments)

Whenever I have problems, I always call my mom or my brother (ye adik lelaki sebab adikz perempuanz kat asrama dan di rumah so no privacy hahaha). Usually, they only listen. Walaupun mendengar, they will always comfort me or advice me. It's not because of I am so ego, so I wont accept any advices, it takes me maybe days, hours to digest and muhasabah (hm then I forget--")

So, doing flashbacks is good. You know you have something wrong somewhere that you need to fix. To be a better person, mom always says, do muhasabah, it teaches yourself a lot. You know, only you can change yourself. No ones be able to do it. Plus, hidayahs will help :)

So, whatever it takes me down, maybe I shall learn how to rise. And with sabar. I am already 20, 10 years from now, I will be 30 and maybe these 10 years, I will get married, have kids,have good job(Inshaa Allah untuk semua ini), I better change now.

And hey yeah, there are so many things inspired me, but I do think, if I get inspired, why not I inspire everyone with my own story? Kalau tak inspire orang pun, why not you just keep for yourself and be happy, you already have success story. And honestly, I hate the facts when people say, we perempuan have to find rich guy to be our husband because it sounds desperate housewives hahaha. Nevermind, if it happens to me Alhamdulillah. But we still need to work hard, and get good job, so we can afford to buy anything what we want! ( Coach, Channel, Gucci, FOSSIL watch!!, novels, go travel and so many things without worry! And I always tell this to myself hahaha! Life goals teruk betul, patutnya it should be help others, help needy aigoo)

Failure is one of the ways to succeed. If we cant take it gently, there will no physics theories if Albert Einstein and others wouldnt work for it, no KFC, no bulbs, no washing machine, and nothing! So Zahrah, take it easy coz you are brilliant lady!

It's okay to be inspired, but be original :) -Aisyah Shakirah

Wahhhh why do I feel so inspired after wrote this panjang blogpost hahaha! Okay, kena berubah sikitz sikitz (and why do I like to add 'z' macam bahasa rempitzz). GTG fella! I love you!


P/s: Scenes are from Oh My Venus and The Descendants of The Sun.